Sick Cycle Carousel
by Brian Bloomfield
Summary: A prequel to 'My December'. Cloud's reaction to Aeris' Death


if shame had a face I think it would kind of look like mine  
  
Cloud stared at the image in front of him, Aeris being run through by a massive sword. He felt the image of her   
dropping down off the masamune, into his not-so-protective arms, burning it's way through his brain. But he   
didn't care anymore. He had failed her. He had failed her one last time.  
  
if it had a home would it be my eyes  
  
Tears started to well in his eyes, but he was beyond caring. Sephiroth said something to him and he rsponded,   
on automatic. His real question lied deep within the eyes of his love, who laid in his arms, dying.  
  
would you believe me if I said I'm tired of this  
  
He stared at Sephiroth with a hatred fit only for demons and hellspawn. Him...It was him.He had killed Aeris. He   
had failed, and she payed with his failure with her life.  
  
well here we go now one more time  
  
Sephroth leaped up into the air and dropped another piece of Jenova. Cloud quickly defeated it and went over to  
where he had layed Aeris. He carfully picked up her body and brushed a little bit of hair away from her soft skin   
on her face. He cradled her body in his arms and carfully made his way out into the lake of the Ancients.  
  
I tried to climb your steps   
I tried to chase you down  
I tried to see how low I could get down to the ground and  
I tried to earn my way   
I tried to change this mind  
you better believe that I have tried to beat this  
  
He was near the middle of the lake when he slowly lowered her beartiful body into the freezing water. He slowly   
lowered his face until his lips kissed her forehead. "Sleep well my angel. I'm sorry." he whispered into her ear   
before allowing her body to sink to the bottom, where it would never be seen again. He slowly made his way to  
the shore.  
  
so where will this end it goes on and on   
over and over and over again  
keep spinning around I know that it won't stop   
till I step down from this for good  
  
When he reached the shore he walked past the others and toward the steps leading up to the top level. The   
others followed without question. He went up the steps and through the opening. He turned and waited for the   
others to file through the opening. "We need to get some rest before continuing. We'll stay here for the night."   
Without waiting for a response, he went upstairs and went to sleep.  
  
I never thought I'd end up here   
never thought I'd be standing where I am   
I guess I kind of thought that it would be easier than this  
I guess I was wrong now one more time   
  
That night, he dreamed for the first time in years. He dreamed of his adventures, of his mother, and of Aeris. He   
was standing in a grassy field that seemed to sway like a ocean in the wind. Aeris was kneeling on a platform in   
the middle of the field. It was not unlike the alter she was murdered on. She was wearing a pink tunic and grey   
slacks. She glowed with a vibrant light that seemed to stop time itself. She was beautiful. Cloud tried to approach   
her, but it was not allowed. Her beauty was destined to be forever out of his reach. Suddenly, the sky grayed   
over. And he was coming.  
  
I tried to climb your steps   
I tried to chase you down  
I tried to see how low I could get down to the ground and  
I tried to earn my way   
I tried to change this mind  
you better believe that I have tried to beat this  
  
He tried to push forward, but he could not. He reached for his sword, but it was now missing. He watched in   
horror as Sephiroth forced his evil sword through the Aeris' delicate skin. She was dead. Again.  
  
so where will this end it goes on and on  
over and over and over again  
keep spinning around I know that it won't stop  
till I step down from this  
  
He sat up in bed suddenly as the aftermath of the dream struggled to make him cry. He knew now what he had to   
do. He quietly slipped out into the night. He headed out toward the center of the the city.  
  
sick cycle carousel  
this is a sick cycle, yeah  
sick cycle carousel   
this is a sick cycle, yeah  
  
He knelt down by the lake. He saw a soft glow at the bottom but thought nothing of it. "I'm sorry everyone, but   
this is how it should be." He started his descent into the icy depths of the ancient lake.  
  
so where will this end it goes on and on  
over and over and over again  
keep spinning around I know that it won't stop  
till I step down from this for good  
  
Suddenly he heard a voice in his mind. Not a voice, but a sudden flash of information. There was no doubt who   
had sent it. Aeris. And the message was clear. He loved Tifa. She needed him and he needed her, and that was all   
that really had to matter. He pulled himself onto the shord and headed back toward the houses.  
  
where will this end it goes on and on  
over and over and over again  
keep spinning around I know that it won't stop  
till I step down from this for good  
  



End file.
